Okay, I need to get some feedback, opinions on whether I'm overreacting or not. My son is in Kindergarten, and his whole Kindergarten class is planning a trip to a local kids amusement part. It is not a major roller-coaster type park, though it does have several carnival-type kid-oriented rides. He has a one-on-one at school who will be with him on this trip.
They are anxious about the trip. They want to harness him. We've never felt compelled to harness him for any reason. We've had him bolt out into the street on a few occasions, into parking lots and across a very crowded mall, and we have always managed to retrieve him safely, but I can see how any of those occasions could have ended very badly. If we were the ones taking him to the park, I sincerely doubt that we would feel the need to harness him, but we're both pretty confident in our ability to keep up with him if he should take off running.
The idea leaves a bad taste in my mouth, like he's more animal than person. Am I overreacting? I need some input.
They are anxious about the trip. They want to harness him. We've never felt compelled to harness him for any reason. We've had him bolt out into the street on a few occasions, into parking lots and across a very crowded mall, and we have always managed to retrieve him safely, but I can see how any of those occasions could have ended very badly. If we were the ones taking him to the park, I sincerely doubt that we would feel the need to harness him, but we're both pretty confident in our ability to keep up with him if he should take off running.
The idea leaves a bad taste in my mouth, like he's more animal than person. Am I overreacting? I need some input.
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Re: The Harness
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 6:28 AMI'm guessing they are looking at it from a liability standpoint. If he were to bolt in a crowded amusement park... they could lose him or he could get hurt. It's not as safe as the more controlled environment he has at school and I'm guessing they are just trying to cover their butts. I suppose the other alternative would be to not let him go on the field trip. If it came down to wearing the harness or missing the trip, which would it be? -
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Re: The Harness
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 4:35 PMWould it be an option for you or someone you trust to go with him and he wouldn't have to be harnessed? -
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Unsu...
Re: The Harness
Fri, May 25, 2007 - 5:07 PMHmmmm.....what happened to the simple method of a teacher holding the childs hand? I mean...that's what my 7 year old's teacher does. Usually in classes with Special needs kids, the teachers are well informed and therefore double team students. -
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Re: The Harness
Mon, May 28, 2007 - 9:29 PMwow, i'm in a similar boat right now, my kid's school wants to harness him on the school bus, so they don't have to pay a t.a. to travel with him. i've told them i don't like it, and i don't feel it's necessary - he's never got up on the bus before. but the main issue is, i don't agree with it at all, it makes me feel ill.
why should our kids get treated like animals? they deserve the same as any other kid, and any of those kids could take off at an amusement park. if you don't feel it's needed you should say so, trust those instincts mama! -
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Re: The Harness
Tue, June 5, 2007 - 8:47 PMI felt the same at first, like he was being jailed or something. But look at it from the bus driver's point of view. That person not only has to drive the bus safely, that person usually has to put up with kids who are often screaming or singing loudly and make it to each pick up on time, too. It would be really hard for the bus driver to keep the kids from rolling all over the bus and each other. My advice is to go with the flow when it's easy and put up the good fight where it counts. Save your energy for your little one and yourself. The school really is on your side, otherwise they would be doing other things with their lives.
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Re: The Harness
Thu, May 31, 2007 - 11:31 PMI understand the feeling that a harness is basically a leash, but I feel very strongly that the potential alternative (my son getting away from me and getting run over by a car, getting snatched by a stranger, etc) outweighs any discomfort I might feel about 'leashing' my son. I harnessed him when travelling while I was pregnant - running after a not-quite-two-year-old in an airport is hard work anyway, but doing it with a big pregnant belly is damn near impossible. He deals with it well and I feel better about walking with him in a large crowd where he could easily get away from me - he only lets me hold his hand for so long before he's had enough and ready to take off. Knowing how he is, I would actually insist that a caretaker harness him in an amusement park. The possibility of him getting away and possibly getting hurt is just too great for me to take a chance. However, if your son, unlike mine, actually looks for you and tries to stay near you when you are out and about, your risk may be smaller than mine and you may feel okay about trusting your caretakers to be able to keep up with him.
Just my two cents - use or ignore as you will =-).
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Unsu...
Re: The Harness
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 5:57 PMMy kid is now an adult and still wears a harness on the bus -it is safer than just using the lapstrap.
She knows how to get out of a harness too -she learnt that at 8 years of age but she stays put and I know that if she gets in a collision she will be safer than with just a lap belt. -she used to sit in a car seat on the bus when she first started . Then the tiny harness -I could barely see the top of her head through the bus window. my kid is nonverbal the more safe I can keep her the less the stress. She has been in two bus collisions too in her lifetime and I am thankful she had the harness on.
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Re: The Harness
Fri, June 8, 2007 - 5:48 AMSo his field trip was yesterday. When we talked to the school administrators about it last week, we agreed that they would purchase one of those belt-loop ties. His one-on-one would wear one end attached to her belt-loop and he would wear one on his, and it would draw out like measuring tape, I guess, to give him some distance. Basically, a tether of sorts, but not a "harness". We also agreed that they would start the day with nothing, just hand-holding if necessary, then only move to the tether if he seemed like he might bolt or resisted the hand-holding. That was an acceptable compromise to us. The best part is that they didn't end up using the tether at all. He never tried to bolt, and if he started wondering away, they just called to him, or sent one of the aides to direct him back towards the group, and he was fine. He had a great time, completely harness-free. Yay! -
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Re: The Harness
Mon, June 11, 2007 - 12:47 PMthat's awesome heather!
my son is nearly 11 and has never bolted nor stood up on the bus. if he needed a harness for safety, of course i would want him to use it. but i know he would be upset about the restraint and fight it, that strikes me as being way more potentially dangerous, i know he could get out of a harness if he wanted too. i always prefer to go with the path of the least resistance with shilo, but i will fight for him everyday if i have to. -
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Re: The Harness
Mon, June 11, 2007 - 12:53 PMThat's great Heather!
Peanut's school always prepares for every field trip as though it were the assault on Normandy Beach...and he always does fine. On the last one a bunch of kids were really unruly, loud, badly behaved. I was feeling pretty damned smug that Peanut was *not* a part of that group.
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Re: The Harness
Sun, July 8, 2007 - 10:06 PMWonderful. And it's great they gave him the opportunity to show how self controlled he can be. They were assuming the worst; now the school knows that he is capable of listening and following rules and therefore everyone should feel more capable of keeping him safe. That's great!
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